So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize