Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
