He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
