Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
