i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I understand Curling. That high.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
