Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
