just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
