in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
