My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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