I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
