She announced her abortion via fbk
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
