absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Enjoy the penises
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
