I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
