Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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