That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
i am craving dick and cupcakes
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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