covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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