What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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