i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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