i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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