Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
