i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
