i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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