she woke up with a sticky ear
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
