sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
