I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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