You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize