Who did Billy Mays play for?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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