you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
