dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
