I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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