wanna go halves on a baby?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
