he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
