he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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