you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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