JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
