roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
