I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
just tell him i said nine months
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
