I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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