one two three fourrrrnication!
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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