I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
