The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
