did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
