woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize