If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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