just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
