good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I can text with my tongue
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
