Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
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