I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
It's just like the Real World with babies
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
