you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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