Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
