Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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