Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
