Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
