We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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