i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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