Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
