well I can't set my house on fire every night
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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