i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You have to summon your inner elephant
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
