I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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