this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
