Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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