It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
