are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
