I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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