I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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