I wanna bring you to show and tell
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I had to cum in my sink.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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