I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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